Back in 2000, a girl I knew had family problems she then got involved with SHAID and they helped her get accommodation.  I had problems of my own at 15 years of age had got myself involved with someone I shouldn’t have, went totally off the rails took drugs, drank nearly everyday and didn’t really care about my life. This was the year I met Kirsti we became really good friends, she always told me along with other people that I should get away from all the crowds that were bringing me down they wouldn’t bring any good for the future just more trouble. After Christmas 2001 I was about to sit my G.C.S.E’ s I still wasn’t bothered not going into school never revised all I wanted to do was see my boyfriend and get drunk and high all the time. My mam and me weren’t getting on we were always at each others throats, which I now understand her point of view, also  my sister  got really upset with me she didn’t know how to cope with me we never really spoke were fighting quite regular. My dad never lived with us then my parents divorced when I was 5 years old I didn’t want to ask dad for help as he didn’t approve of my lifestyle at that time we didn’t really speak much we had problems getting on there was a lack of communications between us.  My exam’s came round which didn’t go very well, I did really badly I was devastated you’d think that would have opened my eyes but it didn’t.  

Not long after my exam’s mam had totally had enough of me and asked me to leave so this was when I started staying at friends houses. This was when I was given the number to contact SHAID for help so I gave them a call and arranged an appointment, the lady I met up with was Lindsay Henderson who used to work at SHAID she was really nice and friendly she started helping me with forms for benefits and housing applications. A few months later I was offered a flat in Steelhaven  in Consett by then I was 16 I took this place and tried to start afresh but it wasn’t that easy I was still hanging round the same crowds my attitude was terrible going more off the rails than  ever.  The relationship with my boyfriend was always on and off which bothered me but I wouldn’t finish it totally naïve to everything around me. I had been living in Steelhaven for about 10 month when I was offered a council property then (Derwentside Council) I moved into the house which was in Moorside, I didn’t have much everything I had I was given I never got any help from the social with grants for furniture, I was trying to live on £40 a week which didn’t go far most days I didn’t bother eating looked ill. Around this time I had completely lost contact with Kirsti didn’t know where she’d gone, people started hanging around the house and tried getting in when I refused they would all go mad outside the house  causing a disturbance in the street this really got me down I became very depressed. My support worker at the time Lindsay changed me over to get help with a woman named Anita. I had sent all my housing benefit forms away so I didn’t have to pay full rent. I hadn’t been in the house that long when my Granddad died so this was another hard blow to take. It all came to ahead when the day of his funeral it had been a long hard day it got worse when I got home as someone had kicked my door in and been in my house this totally freaked me out I didn’t want to be in that house any longer my mam and me had been getting on a lot better we were still seeing each other me taking washing along she was giving me food.  On seeing me in a state at her door she offered me to go back to live with her I decided I would try as I no longer wanted to be in that house anymore, so I gave the house up.   

I moved back in it was hard being with my mam again but I really wanted to turn my life around make my family proud, I started doing little courses and in 2004 I got myself a job in a computer shop as a sales assistant I loved it the people there were lovely, I came out of my shell stopped hanging round the bad crowds got myself healthy and back on my feet, then came 2005, one of the other workers had came in that lunch time with a newspaper I started looking through and couldn’t believe the face staring back at me yeah it was Kirsti she was doing a project with SHAID I wasn’t going to miss the opportunity of contacting her so I got straight on the phone and left a message with the lady at SHAID for Kirsti to call me back. We made contact with each other and met up I couldn’t believe it but I’m glad I did. That year I was made redundant on 26^thOctober 05 I was gutted as I loved working there had made good friends. I never got another job as around that time I started having problems with my back seeing doctors/ therapists and was put on the sick I never went out or did anything becoming more depressed and withdrawn this was when Kirsti started asking me to come along to SHAID just to get me out the house, I never went straight away it took her quite a long time to convince me but finally in January 2007 I finally gave in and went along.

At first I went along just for a chat and cup of tea then started going along for meetings getting myself involved with ongoing projects. I joined a project which was called Fundamental looking at mental health problems which I was interested in as I have problems also I thought it was helpful in understand my illness as well as others, I got invited along to the comedy club which I enjoyed I’d never been to one and had a really good night, throughout the year I went to barbecues and got involved in other projects such as youth work, I also did a ten week course at The Hetton Centre in Easington which was level 2 Managing Voluntary and Community Organisation. 

One day we were all meeting  to talk about projects and were told a man called Trevor would be coming to talk to us about a trip that would be coming up for young people, when he arrived we gathered to listen to what was on offer which was a trip  on one of the Tallship’s called the Stavros s Niarchos traveling from Cork in Ireland round the west coast of Ireland to Belfast it seemed an amazing trip I wasn’t sure if I’d want to go but had I serious think about it and thought why the not it’s something I never thought I’d do or get offered to do so we started to get to work with organizing what was needed to do. We did keyfunds for this and other fund raising activities, it was a hard couple of months doing all the work for the trip as well as all the other projects we almost thought we wouldn’t get there but me and Kirsti managed to, there was a couple of others going but they didn’t get passports in time. I’ve never been so scared and excited as I was about the trip but I had a fantastic time and have some good memory’s, the trip kind of opened my eyes made me want more in life.

when we came back home it was back to getting work finished we did graffiti project one day reflecting on different moods that was a laugh, I then started doing EFT Emotional freedom technique I liked this I was getting full body massages from a Complimentary therapist I found it helped me with my back problems and learned a little about the oils, this has made me interested in trying to learn it myself at college in the future. There was a project called Hype this was us Shaidy’s offering training to our councils and other services about homelessness and what it was like year’s ago and how much things have changed into the 20^th century for young people. We had spent weeks organizing the days training I was really nervous but willing to go for it but leading up to the week of this project I ended up with a bug and had to pull out. 

It was coming to the end of the year Christmas dinner was organized at the hut were we had lunch, games and I received my Millennium  voluntary award for how many hours I had done for SHAID.